Why am I sharing?

In this article, I reflect on how we can share our lived and living experiences in safe and intentional ways. It briefly describes an experience of mental health support and recovery, with themes of trust and emotional safety.

Stories can be powerful

They can connect, educate, and open up new ways of understanding. We can use them to influence change. But stories need nurturing. The timing, the setting, and the purpose all matter.

For me, sharing intentionally starts with care and curiosity. I’ve learnt to pause, process and reflect. What did this experience mean, what did it teach me, and what might it offer someone else?

Here is one of the stories I share…

Intentional moments

A new clinician approached me, clutching my mental health notes. My heart sank. I saw, a pile of papers, words written about me. A barrier made of words. 

Yet, what they did next has stayed with me for years.

They looked at me, then down at the paper file, and said, “Right now, these notes don’t matter to me. What really matters is hearing how things are for you, in your words.” And as they placed the file out of sight, they gently encouraged me to share what I was experiencing. Their words and actions aligned.

Taken aback, I shuffled in the plastic seat, wringing my hands.

I chose to trust, to open up, in the safety they had created. Very gradually, I let them into my world. They gave me time. Perhaps a little more time than usual, but in that time, they saw me. It was moments of healing.

This story comes with a caveat; context is essential. There have been times where I’ve had to repeat my story endlessly, and the frustration has been huge. So, why was this different?

This was a time within my recovery of overwhelming feelings of anger and frustration, as I struggled to take steps forwards. The clinician looked beyond words and labels. They tuned into how I felt unheard, and they met that need in a beautiful way.  

Those small, intentional gestures built a sense of safety and trust, breaking down the barriers between us. They gave me a voice, at a time when I felt disempowered.

What this moment taught me

Why is this one of the stories that I choose to share?

It reminds me:

• how powerful it can be when someone truly listens, with curiosity, not to respond, not to record, but to build a shared understanding
  
  
• the huge impact small actions and gestures can make
  
  
• the power of creating space for someone to have their voice heard and
  
  
• of the empowerment of ‘doing with,’ not ‘doing to.’

Rather than being confined or defined by words on a page, I felt seen and validated. It inspired hope, at a time when I needed it the most.

Whilst this is a story from a healthcare setting, the learning can translate beyond that space. Whether into a classroom, a team meeting, a community group and beyond.

How can we really listen, use small actions, take that extra time and be more intentional? And what would the ripple effect be?

Over time, I began to notice how these same things, curiosity, time, safety, and intention, were essential to how I share my experiences.

Sharing with intention and care

Sharing lived and living experiences can be powerful. But with that, comes responsibility, to ourselves and to those who listen.

Intentionality matters: how, when, and why we choose to share.

I hold a library of countless memories from my mental health recovery and discovering I’m neurodivergent. Pages of highs and lows, of pain and joy, and everything in-between. Amongst those chapters are stories I share, and the stories I don’t. 

And the chapters continue as my life evolves.

As I work as a Speaker, Trainer and Writer, drawing on both lived and living experiences, what’s important?

• valuing my experiences
  
  
• reflective practice, a non-negotiable. A commitment to myself, and the what, how and why that underpins my work    
  
  
• knowing when I feel safe enough to share, and when I need to take a step back
  
  
• understanding who’s listening now or who might in the future, and what they might take away from my words
  
  
• how I frame what I share, not to polish it until it dazzles, but to make sure it’s said with care and
  
  
• pausing afterwards to notice how it felt at the time, what it gave, and how I’m feeling after. Would I change what, and how, I share next time?

Over time, I’ve realised that sharing safely and with purpose is a learning process. It takes practice, and reflection. There are times I look back and think I might have shared differently, or chosen not to share at all, and that’s okay. Each experience has taught me something about boundaries, safety, and connection.

Five questions I ask myself before sharing

Before I speak about my experiences, I think about five questions. They help me share in a way that feels purposeful, grounded, and safe, for both me and those listening.

• Why am I sharing this story?
  
  
• Am I ready and comfortable to share it, and have I set boundaries that protect my wellbeing?
  
  
• What message, insight, or feeling do I want people to take away from it?
  
  
• Who will hear this story, and how can I share it safely and meaningfully?
  
  
• Am I okay with where this story might travel and how it might be remembered?
  

What seeds (ideas) our stories plant

Stories we tell hold potential to spark something: understanding, hope, curiosity, connection and much more. Yet when shared without care, they can equally and unintentionally cause harm.

This article is a snapshot of some of the things to consider when sharing our experiences.

Before we share our next story, let’s take a pause.

What seed do we hope it will plant, and how can we share it in a way that nurtures safety, learning, and growth?

Thank you for joining me in this reflection

Please do explore my website. You can read my other articles, or get in touch with me using my contact page.